When I became confined to one room in our old house, my days were boring. The computer was in another room and all of my household duties were downstairs. It was hard to do anything, even the things that needed to be done. Just before Christmas, I started living out of our bedroom. Matt cleaned, cooked, and did laundry. All I did was fold the laundry that he brought up to me.
All I really had to do was read. After reading about every book known to man, I ran out of things to do. I had a lot of time to think. Too much time to think. And, of course, when I began to think, I began to worry. I worried about the baby. I worried about my marriage. I let guilt set in. It wasn't good. I realized I was fighting a mild depression, and all because I had too much time on my hands. I read the homekeeping books, but I couldn't keep house. I read the marriage books, but I certainly didn't feel like a helpmeet. I read the pregnancy books, but they just made me worry. It was a difficult time. Even reading my Bible was difficult. I felt like a failure as a wife and as a child of God.
After a few weeks, Matt began to feel sorry for me. He brought me magazines, good food-- anything to make my days go by faster until I could operate in the whole house again. He knew I was thinking too much, and he knew how guilty I felt. I cried almost every night. We were both miserable. With nothing else to do, we turned to what we both vowed we would never turn to--the television.
When we got married, we were totally against TV. We vowed that we wouldn't have cable in our home. And we didn't--until I got sick. We thought the TV would be a temporary fix to a temporary problem. Watching TV would make my time go by faster, and it would keep me from worrying and thinking too much. I would actually have something to do. I was kind of excited about the prospect! I used to really enjoy watching HGTV, TLC, Discovery Health Channel, and the Food Network. Those channels weren't bad, they were actually informative and really fun to watch. I looked forward to the minute the cable came in!
When I got cable, I was so excited. My days flew by in a flurry of "Jon and Kate Plus Eight" and "Paula's Home Cookin'." I could certainly relate to "A Baby Story" and "Birth Day." HGTV helped me with ideas for decorating our new home. It was all good! And best of all, time went by very quickly. It didn't take long, though, for me to understand just why we gave up TV in the first place...
This post is getting long, so I'll post this part and write another one! ;)
