And you hath he quickened, who were dead in trespasses and sins.
Ephesians 2:1
What a special verse for all of us who have been redeemed! It is particularly touching to me now that I am pregnant, though. I understand what it means, and I've felt what it means.
For the first several months of my pregnancy, there was no sign of a pregnancy that I could see. Yes, I was sick and tired, but I had no real evidence of a tiny baby in there! I waited and waited for that first movement. Some books said I would be able to feel it around 16 weeks. 16 weeks rolled around. Nothing. 20 weeks. Nothing. I kept anxiously waiting for the first little flutter--the quickening.
Around 22 weeks, I was in the bed, and I felt what I thought was a little flutter. It felt like a little delicate butterfly in there flapping its wings once or twice. Could this be it, I wondered? Every day, the flutters became a little stronger--it was unmistakable; I could feel my baby moving inside! My heart was filled with joy every time I felt it! I was relieved and excited, and I felt a kind of connection to my baby that I hadn't yet felt. He wasn't just a condition anymore; he was my child--my living, moving child.
This experience has helped me understand the Father's love for us. We were dead in trespasses and sins, showing no signs of life. Just like I was waiting to feel Johnathan move, the Lord waited for us to move. He waited for us to accept Him. When we finally did, I can just imagine the excitement that filled the air! Can you imagine the rejoicing that took place in Heaven, just because we were quickened? We came alive because we accepted Jesus' finished work on the cross! We are His children, and He takes great pleasure in knowing that we are alive in Him.
If my baby stopped showing signs of life now, I would be devastated. I would quietly panic. Every second would be spent in quiet solitude, waiting for any kind of movement. Do you think our Lord is the same way? I wonder if, when we momentarily stop living for Him, when we get too busy to think about Him, I wonder if He waits and watches for our return. If He speaks to us like I speak to Johnathan sometimes, saying, "I can't feel you--you haven't moved in a while. Can you move for me?" I know He does, because I can feel it. Can you feel that quiet voice stirring in your heart sometimes? I can, especially when I haven't spoken to Him in a while, or when I get too busy to focus my thoughts on Him.
Two days ago, I hadn't felt Johnathan move all day. Around 4:00 pm, I realized it. I laid on the couch for about an hour, perfectly still, eyes closed. All I did was focus my thoughts on my baby. I waited for movement. I drank sugary juice and laid back down. I tried to move him with my hands. I felt nothing. I called Matt, who tried to reassure me, and he had to say goodbye to a crying wife. I wept for several minutes, my heart was full of fear and worry. I prayed to the Lord. A few minutes later, after more lying down and waiting, I felt the strongest little kick I've felt yet. He moved! After I gave him a good talkin' to about not scaring his mama like that again, it hit me. I probably do the same thing to my Heavenly Father all the time.
I'm trying to make it a point to live my life in such a way that the Father knows I'm alive. I don't want to "test" Him or cause Him pain. Just like I want to be reassured that my baby is well, I want to reassure my Father that I'm well. I want Him to look on me with happiness and joy, not sorrow and grief. I've been quickened--and I want it to show!
